Wednesday, 20 May 2015

Drinking Alone In Bars: Men Vs Women

It strikes me as strange that in this modern world of equality, a woman alone in a bar is even an issue, but it still seems to be.
Men have always drank alone in bars and it has never raised eyebrows, or been a subject for discussion, yet when women do it, it seems there are varying opinions on it.
Some say it's liberating, others say it's a bit sad and still others assume she wants to be hit on by anyone and everyone.
I wouldn't say I'm a raging feminist by any stretch of the imagination, but I'm a firm believer in equality, and yet I still find myself wondering about a woman's story if she is sat drinking alone, yet I wouldn't even give a second glance if it was a man.
So I decided to try it and just see what happened. Now I'm not brave enough to sit there alone all night, so I arranged to meet some friends and purposely arrived half an hour early - baby steps!
This is my experience and observations:
The bar tender who served me was very good ,no raised eyebrows.
I didn't feel liberated at all. I felt a bit out of place to be honest and took a seat in the window so I could avoid making eye contact with anyone.
After about five minutes, I decided this sort of defeated the object so I turned the chair slightly and faced into the room. I had the feeling everyone was nudging each other and whispering, although I think this was my own paranoia, and after I relaxed, it really wasn't that bad.
So whilst I didn't find the experience in any way liberating, I didn't feel as uncomfortable as I expected to. I think this was mostly down to the fact that I knew I would soon have people joining me.
Would I do it again? If I was meeting someone I would be happy enough to get a drink and wait for them inside rather than in the car park. I still wouldn't go specifically for a drink alone. I'm not particularly worried about what people think, it's more that I found it a little boring to be honest. It could be a good way to unwind after a stressful day though. It's easier to reflect alone.
I found I drank my drink a lot quicker than I normally would just to have something to do with my hands. On the plus side, I didn't get hit on by anyone!

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  1. It's been many a long year since I drank alone in a bar, and I was usually waiting for somebody. I wonder if attitudes have changed? I wonder if one of us could sit drinking alone and the other of us could sit down at strangers' tables and say, "You see that woman drinking alone? What do you think about that?" Yeah. Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. Uh-huh. ;)

    Marian Allen, Author Lady
    Fantasies, mysteries, comedies, recipes

    1. Hmm next time I'm feeling brave that might be what I try :) Thanks for stopping by

  2. Thanks for visiting my blog on the A/Z road trip and your comment :) Its been years since I've been to a bar and never went alone, but I do remember in my younger days my now husband played in a band so I would go to the bar to listen to the music and spend time with him during the band breaks. I would sit alone at a table, usually if I could in a corner and nurse a drink or two for the whole evening. I got "hit" on a lot to dance, buy me a drink, etc. I had the safety of saying my boyfriend was in the band, but it still was a bit awkward at times. I don't think I could go to a bar by myself, a restaurant yes, but not a bar.


    1. I imagine most people would take the hint when they realised your boyfriend was on the stage! I'm the opposite I would rather go to a bar alone than a restaurant! Thanks for stopping by :)