Friday, 24 July 2015

A Day In The Life Of A Barmaid

I was asked to write a little about my working life and some of the funny things I've come across in the pub by @_mummaknows_ as part of my Over To You theme.

I work as a bar maid, so my general work day is:

-Sort out any left over mess from the night before
-Get the bar ready to open up
-Open up
-Serve drinks, clean the bar area, fill fridges and wash the glasses and change barrels as when required
-Clean up at the end of the night
-Lock up

A Day In The Life Of A Barmaid

Pretty boring right? So what makes it interesting? The people! Some of our regulars are real characters - ranging from the hilarious, the stubborn, the loud, the quiet, the lovely and the downright rude, there is never a dull moment!

We have a little group come in on some of the weekday afternoons. They are all lovely people, but they are loud! They basically spend their days debating various things, with them all insisting they are right and no one ever giving in. It really is funny listening to them. They debate everything from big topics like religion and politics to the absolutely pointless like the name of shop that has been closed fifty years!
A mapOne that sticks in my mind was quite recent. They were having a discussion about the location of a factory (that closed in the 80s!). One of them insisted it was in a certain street and the others all said a different one. They got pretty much the full place involved and everyone told him he was wrong. This went on for over two hours, and he just wouldn't have it.
The following day, one of the others brought in a map showing it's location, he said it was Photo Shopped.
One of them Googled it, he claimed their Google site was fake.
They told him to Google it himself. The priceless response? 'I don't need to, I know I'm right!'

Some of the things people say and do are beyond belief. A couple of years back, a woman brought her drink back up to the bar claiming the coke was flat. While I didn't really think it would be, I tend to pick my battles and arguing over a drink that costs less than £1 seems like a waste of time. The exchange that followed was priceless. Bear in mind this woman was shouting loud enough to get other customers listening in.
Her (knowingly): 'The gas has ran out on your post mix' (if you don't know, post mix is the draught coke).
Me: 'But...'
Her (interrupting and getting louder): 'I've worked in bars for years, I know what I'm talking about.'
I open my mouth to speak and she jumps in again.
Her: 'Check it. I know I'm right.'
Me (finally shouting over her): 'It's nothing to with the gas.'
Her: 'And you know this how?'
Me: 'You bought a can of coke!'
She shuffles away looking a bit sheepish! Never believe that the customer is always right!

One of the most ridiculous conversation I've had was over the phone.
Me (answering the phone): 'Hello, (Pub Name)'
Caller: 'Hi, I was wondering if you could help me with my tax credits. I need to know the maximum hours I can work without affecting them.'
Me (assuming it's one of the staff and for some reason I haven't recognised their voice): 'Who is it?'
The caller gives me a name I don't recognise.
Me: 'So you don't work here then?'
Caller; 'No, of course not.'
Me (thinking I've misunderstood somewhere along the way): 'Sorry, how do you want me to help you?'
Caller: Repeats original question
Me: 'I'm sorry, I really have no idea!'
Caller (getting a bit shirty): 'You're not very helpful are you?'
Me: 'Well it's not exactly my area of expertise, I'm not sure why you thought it would be really.'
Caller: 'Well is there someone else who can help me?'
Me: 'No, there's only me working.'
Caller: 'There's only you working in the entire office?'
Me: 'You're calling a pub, not an office.'
Caller: 'Oh, I thought I was calling the tax office. Your name is very misleading!'
Bear in mind the name is nothing at all even remotely similar to anything you would associate with taxes, government, or anything related to them.
Me: 'No, we're definitely a pub.'
Caller: 'So you can't help me then?'
Me: 'Nope.'
Caller then hangs up without another word. That one amused me for the rest of the day.

There's loads of others, but I don't want this post to read like a book. Suffice to say I hear a lot of random stuff!

What's the funniest thing a customer has ever said to you?

Follow me on Twitter @randommusings29 and feel free to comment :)
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  1. LOL oh the wrong call one is too funny. I've had that with the animal rescue (they weren't calling about taxes but something else totally not us) and left me going wait, wha?? People can be so crazy. lol

    anna @ herding cats & burning soup

    1. Its beyond me how they think they have the right number. They must do the modern day equivalent of a pin in the phone book and just call whoever they get lol

  2. I think the coke one is funny. There's lots of people like that around. Sometimes I think they argue for the sake of it. I can see how that keeps the job interesting tho ;-)

    Alex - Funky Jungle

    1. We get a lot of people who claim to have worked in bars "all their lives" yet don't have a clue about anything lol - I think you're right though a lot do just argue for the sake of it. It definitely keeps it interesting :)

  3. haha your job seems pretty entertaining! I like that he randomly hung up, probably due to embarrassment..

    www.Barely There | British Beauty & Lifestyle blog

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    1. It can be - I can't help but laugh sometimes at the random things I hear :) Yeah I think you're probably right about the embarrassment! x

  4. I used to work in a pub. Loved it! But yes, there were plenty of arse holes there, even in a small village pub where the average age of a punter was about 65. To be honest the older ones were ruder. lol. But I used to laugh it off and I'd have there drinks ready for them for when they arrived coz they were so habitual. It paid off coz they would often buy me a drink. #bigfatlinky

    1. That's so true - the older ones are the worst for no manners! And yes, they are definitely creatures of habit lol

  5. I'm kind of sad that I didn't have my blog when I was working retail. I had so many good stories that would have been priceless. Ah well.

    1. I can imagine! I think retail and pub work are similar in that we have to deal with some "characters" lol. You could still do a post with some of your stories in :)

  6. Haha - this is amazing! Loving the woman with her coke can, and the phone call!

    1. I always say I have an idiot magnet because I always get the stupid questions/statements lol, but they do make for funny stories :)

  7. I've always thought that a bartender would be my fall-back if the whole X-Ray thing didn't work out. I can only imagine the stories you could tell

    1. It's not bad as jobs go, definitely good for a laugh. Some of the stuff I hear daily is that ridiculous it sounds made up!

  8. Very funny post. I used to work in the hospitality industry and this reminded me of some of the conversations I had with customers. #brilliantblogposts (new domain)

    1. Thank you :) Customers are crazy, but for the most part, in a nice way! Oh you moved lol!