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The Serial Husband - The End
I float on a wave of emotion. I see everything and I see nothing. I am nowhere and I am everywhere. I’m also getting ahead of myself. I must go back a little – it’s painful, but it’s what I have to do.
I think of Matt sitting there looking across at me. He looks so lost and vulnerable, like a child who has lost his Mother. I want to go to him so badly. To hold him. To make everything ok again. I can’t of course. It’s too late for that.
How did it come to this? Was it always destined to end up this way, or do we make our own fates? Was this the universe’s plan for us all along, whatever we did, or was it a series of bad decisions on both of our parts that brought us to this point?
So many questions battle for space in my brain. I have no answers to any of them. In a way I don’t want answers. If I don’t know, I can believe we were both just innocent pawns playing our pre-planned roles. That’s a much nicer scenario than any of the others that run through my thoughts.
I’m pulled rudely from my thoughts by a voice, loud in the otherwise quiet room. I didn’t catch everything it said. I caught only one word, but that one word was enough. That one word said it all, the rest is just window dressing. Guilty. One word, not even a big word, but its meaning changes lives.
Guilty of murder. I want to run, but I can’t move. I want to scream, but I can’t speak. My head is spinning, spinning.
I stand shakily and a hand takes me elbow, steadying me and leading me out of the courtroom.
As I stumble blindly along the corridor two more words come back to me. Life imprisonment. It’s like a mantra running through my head on a loop. Guilty. Life imprisonment. Guilty. Life imprisonment.
The words spin through my head, they lose all meaning and I cling to them like I used to cling to my favourite blanket.
I’m ushered into a room and the door slams behind me. I take a deep breath.
‘Get a grip girl,’ I tell myself.
Those words running through my head will be enough to send me crazy before long.
And I think we all know now I am not crazy.
Matt did kill his first wife. He did kill that nurse. He did try to kill me.
I suppose that’s the defence I should have used, maybe I would be free now. But I can never truly be free. Not now. Not without my Matt. I didn’t want to kill him, I just didn’t want to lose him. When I saw those divorce papers on his desk, I just panicked.
Besides, how could I have all those people thinking my Matt was a monster?
That's it! I hope you all like how it turned out! Let me know what you think in the comments :)