5 Things Working In A Bar Has Taught Me

I've worked as a barmaid for 12 years. 

Mostly, it's ok, even a bit of a laugh at times, but sometimes, like any job, I want to scream and shout and swear. 

Overall, I enjoy it as jobs go. I have done a lot worse. It is very different to what I thought it would be. I stupidly thought that people would come to the bar, request their drinks, pay and go sit down. If only!

There are many people who make the job fun, and interesting, but the ones that stick in my mind are generally the ones I have wanted to strangle for various reasons. On the plus side, those customers make the best stories.

Aside from how to pick my battles, here are five things I have learned working in this industry:

1. The customer is very rarely right, yet they always think they are.

 

 

 

Anyone who still believes the customer is always right has never had to deal with the general public. If you are right, we will fix the issue without arguing, probably before you even notice there is an issue.
This also includes customers who outright lie in an attempt to get something free. We have heard it all before!

2. Even the nicest person turns into a whiney brat when they don't get their own way.

 

 

I understand you have drank here for ten years, but your half a lager once a week doesn't pay the bills, so no I can't turn the music off to suit you when the other 100 people in the pub want it on. This is usually followed by the person declaring they are never coming back and flouncing off like a four year old. The following week, they return at their usual time.

3. There IS such a thing as a stupid question!

 

 

 

A couple of examples I have genuinely been asked by customers:

* "Do you have a toilet?" Bear in mind this wasn't someone walking off the street just to use it, it was someone drinking in the pub!

* "Why is this round dearer than the last one?" Because last round, you get 2 pints, this round you got 3. He wasn't convinced it should be more, even though he accepted he had gotten an extra drink!

* "Is the bar still open?" This is not a stupid question in itself, but in this context it was. It was around 8pm on a Saturday night, we were heaving and were quite obviously serving people.

And it's not just customers. Here's two I have been asked by staff:

* "What's in a gin and tonic?"
* And my personal favourite, while standing in front of a sink, "Where do I get water from?"

4. That anything that can go wrong will wait until the busiest/least convenient moment possible.

 

 

Nothing ever breaks on a Monday morning, it's always a Saturday night! Whether it's the till, the ice machine or anything else that can make your life hell, it will happen at your busiest time.

This is likely due to the fact you are using it more at those times, but in the moment that logic doesn't help.

5. That it's really not that bad.

 

 

 

For all some customers are so frustrating you could happily scream yourself hoarse, its really not that bad. You learn pretty quickly to grow a thick skin, laugh it off and ignore the chaos. There are much worse ways to earn a living, and you will definitely get a laugh along the way. And for every customer you want to punch, there are 30 or 40 nice customers that make you realise it could be a lot worse!

Have you ever worked in a bar (or retail)? Anything you would add? Let me know in the comments :)

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A Day In The Life Of A Barmaid

I was asked to write a little about my working life and some of the funny things I've come across in the pub by @_mummaknows_ as part of my Over To You theme.

I work as a bar maid, so my general work day is:

-Sort out any left over mess from the night before
-Get the bar ready to open up
-Open up
-Serve drinks, clean the bar area, fill fridges and wash the glasses and change barrels as when required
-Clean up at the end of the night
-Lock up

Pretty boring right? So what makes it interesting? The people! Some of our regulars are real characters - ranging from the hilarious, the stubborn, the loud, the quiet, the lovely and the downright rude, there is never a dull moment!

We have a little group come in on some of the weekday afternoons. They are all lovely people, but they are loud! They basically spend their days debating various things, with them all insisting they are right and no one ever giving in. It really is funny listening to them. They debate everything from big topics like religion and politics to the absolutely pointless like the name of shop that has been closed fifty years!
One that sticks in my mind was quite recent. They were having a discussion about the location of a factory (that closed in the 80s!). One of them insisted it was in a certain street and the others all said a different one. They got pretty much the full place involved and everyone told him he was wrong. This went on for over two hours, and he just wouldn't have it.
The following day, one of the others brought in a map showing it's location, he said it was Photo Shopped.
One of them Googled it, he claimed their Google site was fake.
They told him to Google it himself. The priceless response? 'I don't need to, I know I'm right!'

Some of the things people say and do are beyond belief. A couple of years back, a woman brought her drink back up to the bar claiming the coke was flat. While I didn't really think it would be, I tend to pick my battles and arguing over a drink that costs less than £1 seems like a waste of time. The exchange that followed was priceless. Bear in mind this woman was shouting loud enough to get other customers listening in.
Her (knowingly): 'The gas has ran out on your post mix' (if you don't know, post mix is the draught coke).
Me: 'But...'
Her (interrupting and getting louder): 'I've worked in bars for years, I know what I'm talking about.'
I open my mouth to speak and she jumps in again.
Her: 'Check it. I know I'm right.'
Me (finally shouting over her): 'It's nothing to with the gas.'
Her: 'And you know this how?'
Me: 'You bought a can of coke!'
She shuffles away looking a bit sheepish! Never believe that the customer is always right!

One of the most ridiculous conversation I've had was over the phone.
Me (answering the phone): 'Hello, (Pub Name)'
Caller: 'Hi, I was wondering if you could help me with my tax credits. I need to know the maximum hours I can work without affecting them.'
Me (assuming it's one of the staff and for some reason I haven't recognised their voice): 'Who is it?'
The caller gives me a name I don't recognise.
Me: 'So you don't work here then?'
Caller; 'No, of course not.'
Me (thinking I've misunderstood somewhere along the way): 'Sorry, how do you want me to help you?'
Caller: Repeats original question
Me: 'I'm sorry, I really have no idea!'
Caller (getting a bit shirty): 'You're not very helpful are you?'
Me: 'Well it's not exactly my area of expertise, I'm not sure why you thought it would be really.'
Caller: 'Well is there someone else who can help me?'
Me: 'No, there's only me working.'
Caller: 'There's only you working in the entire office?'
Me: 'You're calling a pub, not an office.'
Caller: 'Oh, I thought I was calling the tax office. Your name is very misleading!'
Bear in mind the name is nothing at all even remotely similar to anything you would associate with taxes, government, or anything related to them.
Me: 'No, we're definitely a pub.'
Caller: 'So you can't help me then?'
Me: 'Nope.'
Caller then hangs up without another word. That one amused me for the rest of the day.

There's loads of others, but I don't want this post to read like a book. Suffice to say I hear a lot of random stuff!

What's the funniest thing a customer has ever said to you?

Follow me on Twitter @randommusings29 and feel free to comment :)

B Is For Bar Etiquette

Day 2 of my A to Z Challenge. B is for Bar Etiquette.

If you don't know how this works, I've posted the link back to the rules of the challenge at the end of this, along with a link to yesterday's post. If you want to ready my full alphabet, just keep following the links. Each day has a link back to yesterday's post.

As some of you may know, I work as a bartender. I do enjoy it, and for every customer who acts like an idiot, there's maybe 50 who don't, but as with anything, it's the idiots who tend to stick in your mind. So I have put together 10 rules of Bar Etiquette. Follow these rules and you will never be THAT customer in any bar :)

1. Know what you want

This applies to the people who stand in a queue bitching that they have to wait (and I’m talking 2-3 minutes here not the 20 they’d have you believe). Then it’s their turn and they start yelling over the packed pub to their table “Dave what you having?”, “Margaret do you want vodka or gin?”, etc and just when they’ve finally got the order sorted, I’ve made the drinks, and I think it’s over, they decide they want to try something new but don’t know what. This is why we have queues!

2. Say please and thank you

Something I wouldn’t have believed would have to be included (bearing in mind everyone in the place is an actual adult) until I started working in a bar – it’s not that hard people!

3. Never ever whistle, snap your fingers or bang on the bar at me

Unless of course you enjoy waiting while I serve literally everyone else, go to the loo and touch up my lippy, have a smoke break, make a coffee, drink the coffee, file my nails, pop outside to see if anyone wants to come in, collect all the glasses and wash all the tables whether they've been used or not. I really can’t stress this one enough!

4. Order all your drinks at once

It makes it quicker for everyone – you, me and the queue behind you if I do all 3 of your vodka and cokes in one trip rather than one at a time. I do this every day. I can and will remember your 6 drink order.

5. Don’t be arsey if I ask you for ID

Not only is it my job, it’s the law – if you are underage and I serve you alcohol, not only will the pub and I get fined, you will too. Take it as a compliment that you look under 21 (we do challenge 21). I have to say though it does give me a laugh when I ID someone and they make a massive show of eye rolling, moaning and all the other stuff they insist on doing, then show me ID that says there were 18 like 3 days ago.

6. Have some money to hand

I’m not insisting you have the exact change, or have the money ready the second I ask, but have it were it is easy to access. You know like a purse or wallet, in your hadbag or pocket not at the bottom of a locked suitcase. You know you have to pay, be getting it ready while you stand in line moaning about waiting!

7. Don’t argue about the price

I don’t mean if you genuinely think there’s been a mistake. I mean the person who asks, for example, “How much is a pint of Carling?” I say “£2.30” and they then say “I’ll give you £2”. Erm no. No, you won’t. Also when buying a packet of crisps, telling me they are cheaper in Asda doesn’t mean I can magically lower the price just for you, but congratulations on your observation skills!

8. Don’t blame me for your mistake

If you ask for a vodka and coke and you meant vodka and lemonade, don’t make out I’m an idiot that made the wrong drink. Admit that you made a mistake ordering it. I am much more likely to switch it for you based on you being a reasonable person who made a mistake than an arsehole yelling at me.

9. Don’t assume buying me a drink means you’re somehow “in” 

I’m not one of those bartenders that thinks every customer has some sort of obligation to buy me a drink. For those that do, I do appreciate it, but I don’t think I’m somehow entitled to it. If however, you do choose to buy me a drink, I think of it as a thank you and by accepting it, I am accepting your thanks, not agreeing to go on a date with you/sleep with you/push you in the queue/sneak you an extra measure or any of the other things some people seem to think it means.

10. Don’t tell me how to do my job

I don’t care that you ran a chain of pubs for 17 years (read here was a glass washer for a weekend and couldn’t handle it). Unless I am on your payroll, I will be doing it my manager’s way, not your way. And for the record, you are not paying my wages, the owner of the pub is. If you don’t come in, I will still get paid believe it or not!

Can you think of any others that should be added? Or how about what bartenders do that drives customers up the wall?

Follow me on Twitter @randommusings29 and feel free to comment :)

Rules link: http://myrandommusings.blogspot.co.uk/2015/04/a-z-challenge-whos-with-me.html

A is for Awesome link: http://www.myrandommusings.blogsppot.co.uk/2015/04/a-is-for-awesome.html