People say if a relationship is worth having then you must
be willing to stand up and fight for it.I'm not sure I agree with this. Surely if the relationship really is meant to be, it wouldn't be a fight? I'm not suggesting that as soon as it gets a bit tough you just give up. What I am saying is that if a relationship feels like a constant fight, then maybe it's just not meant to be.
I think it depends on who you are fighting.
I quite like the idea of two people united, fighting the haters, the judgemental douchebags and the negative people of the world. Showing the world that love really does conquer all and nothing can come between them. That is a fight worth having.
I don't think a relationship should be a constant fight between the two people in it. Maybe it's just the wording, because I do believe in working on a relationship. Not taking each other for granted, making time for each other and so on. I also believe in compromise. No one should be "in charge" you're partners and as such, you have to have give and take.
It's normal to fight sometimes, and it often takes one of you to stand up and say we are worth it, we are good together, and we can rise above this issue.
If that is happening nearly everyday, especially if it's the same person who always gives in, then that always makes me think it's not meant to be and you're trying to force it.
Ultimately, I think when you are in a relationship, both partners should be happy. If you are not happy, then in my opinion, it isn't worth fighting for. If you are happy and its other people trying to drag you apart, then it is worth fighting for.
I think occasionally fighting for the relationship strengthens it. It shows you are invested in the other person and won't give up on them. If it is an everyday battle then I think it probably isn't meant to be and fighting for it is just drawing out the inevitable.
I think the worst scenario, is when one of you is so sure the other is "the one" you will do anything to keep them. You constantly fight for the relationship, often losing a part of yourself to adapt to the other person's needs. If this is completely one sided, then to me, that person was never the one. The one, your one true soul mate, whatever you want to call it, would feel the same about you, so you wouldn't be constantly fighting for the relationship to work, because there wouldn't be any reason to fight for it if both parties were invested in making it work.
What do you think? If you have to fight for a relationship, does that mean its forced, or does it just add to the strength of it?
I agree that if you are constantly fighting then that is a sign that the relationship probably isn't working. It doesn't necessarily have to spell the end though, there may just be some changes you can make to the relationship to improve things between you and lessen the arguments. I've heard it said before that some couples seem to thrive on a more 'fiery' relationship but any kind of constant bickering would really get me down!
ReplyDeleteYes, that's a good point. If you both want to save the relationship, then there are ways to work on that.
DeleteI think the odd argument can help clear the air, but not constantly, that would drive me mad!
I agree that constantly fighting is not a good sign but there are times when relationships are hard work and the question is whether you are just having a stormy period that needs to be weathered or whether it is indicative of a more significant problem. It should be about give and take on both sides, not one person giving in all the time. My hubby and I certainly find that we fight more these days but then sleep deprivation also plays a big part in that. Sometimes we have to take a big step back and look at the bigger picture rather than the here and now.
ReplyDeleteYes, I can imagine sleep deprivation definitely won't help! That's a good point, if when looking at the bigger picture the arguments seems stupid, then its probably all good!
DeleteTotally agree with you. I stayed in a marriage WAY past the expiration date because it was a constant fight. I hated coming home. I hated him talking to me. I hated him touching me. We went through counseling 85% of our 11 year marriage and it never seemed to work. I believe in marriage, but I don't want a constant fight in my home.
ReplyDeleteI did the same in a past relationship (minus the counselling). You keep thinking it has to get better but it never does!
DeleteUmmm, this is really interesting. My husband and I rarely fight. We bicker but we don't fight. But when we first got together we fought lots. It is amazing that we stayed together. But despite fighting we loved one another and so we both made a conscious effort to change for one another. If we had given up then I would have missed out on being married to a wonderful man and having a beautiful daughter. I feel that if it is meant to be then it will be. It shouldn't be so complicated. I think it is important not to overthink these things.Thanks for linking up to #SundaysStars. I am sorry that it has taken me so long to commt. Hugs Mrs H xxxx
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you two found a way to make it work :) I guess sometimes it is worth fighting for! Thanks for hosting, no problem at all :) x
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