Wednesday, 23 September 2015

Guest Post By Samy - Sex: The Good And The Bad!

Today's post is a guest post by Samy from Diary of an African Gyal (link at the end). If you haven't yet visited Samy's blog, here is a little more about her:
My name is Samy Tshimanga, I am a freelance blogger, columnist and media consultant.
Africa is home so I'm concerned with all her affairs. When I'm not writing, I am traveling and enjoying the different tastes of wine. I'm based in the U.S
Onto Samy's brilliant post about good and bad sex!

Sex: The Good And The Bad! by Samy

Guest Post by Sammy. Sex: The Good And The Bad!SEX ! The word that seems to bring us together but also can put us in different categories.  Also the word makes some of us feel uncomfortable for one reason or another. However, it is an activity that we all participate in. Just like activities you can be really good at it or really bad at it.

I hate to say it but we have all been a victim of bad sex! If you haven’t then you are lying or you just got real lucky. For some of the rest of us, we have. Now what constitutes as good sex? Or bad sex? Is there such thing?

This is clearly my opinion based on my experience. Now sex is like dancing you have to have rhythm. There has to be some flow to it. Guys girls don’t like to be rammed until the daylight comes. Girls don’t like when you just lay there and play dead either. Sex is a way to communicate with your partner. Your bodies do the talking. So listen to them. 

Sex is good when 2 things happen.

1)      When you are in love with your partner and your connection runs deep. So the emotional connection makes the sex 10 times better.

2)      I said sex is a way to communicate with your partner. With that being said, you have to tell what you like and what you don’t like. Don’t expect them to know if you don’t tell them.


Now what’s bad sex?

Remember the very 1st time you had sex? Ok it was bad because you were inexperienced and did not know what it is going on. Let’s fast forward.

Bad sex:

1)      When there is no FOREPLAY involved! NO FOREPLAY! It goes all downhill from there. In the winter you just don’t turn your car on and drive. You let it heat up. Well that goes for women, turn us on and you are ensured a good time.


2)      3 PUMPS and DONE! (What about me? It takes a woman longer to reach her climax point.  So take your time.  It is not a competition, I promise.  There is nothing more pleasing when you climax simultaneously. *music to my ears*  


3)      DRUNK SEX ! No you would think the opposite because you are all hot and bothered. NOPE!  It’s all bad because it is actually your worst performance for many different reasons.  Both are sloppy. The fear someone might pass out (oops that was me).  I just fell asleep because alcohol makes me sleepy. 


Now I mentioned what’s good and what’s bad ? However notice I did not mention anything about size. Here is why. Size is not going to be the determinant. My motto “it isn’t the size of the ocean, it’s the motion of the ocean.” Meaning that just because he is huge does not necessary mean you are in for a good time. Just because of the misconception that small is bad, it ain’t all bad and bigger isn’t necessary better.

Overall sex is meant to be fun and relaxing. But here is my good citizen PSA: protect yourself and don’t go screwing everyone because you can. Have smart fun sex !

Happy F**king J


Time to show Samy some love! Visit her blog, follow her on Twitter, check out her magazine Dunia Magazine/Applause Africa, and of course, leave her some lovely comments below :)



Super Busy Mum


  1. Very well said. That's a controversial topic but you wrote it well.

    1. I agree, I think Samy wrote it very tastefully :)

  2. I would argue that good sex can happen without love, but communication is vital. Great post Xx

    1. Yes, often good chemistry and communication is enough :) x

  3. Haha, entertaining read! And so true!

    Le Stylo Rouge

  4. Sex is a form of communication. I know that it can happen without love but I would suggest for it to be good there has to be a degree of trust and communication.

    1. I totally agree Kirsten. If you can't communicate what you want then there's a fair chance its not going to move the earth!

  5. That is an awesome post! I think chemistry is necessary, sometimes more so than communication because even if the communication is there, if the chemistry isn't, it can still be bad (personal experience). But communication is vital too! thanks for sharing! visiting from #themadmidweekbloghop

    1. There has to be chemistry, otherwise no matter how much you might want something to work, it just isn't going to!