B Is For Bar Etiquette

Day 2 of my A to Z Challenge. B is for Bar Etiquette.

If you don't know how this works, I've posted the link back to the rules of the challenge at the end of this, along with a link to yesterday's post. If you want to ready my full alphabet, just keep following the links. Each day has a link back to yesterday's post.

As some of you may know, I work as a bartender. I do enjoy it, and for every customer who acts like an idiot, there's maybe 50 who don't, but as with anything, it's the idiots who tend to stick in your mind. So I have put together 10 rules of Bar Etiquette. Follow these rules and you will never be THAT customer in any bar :)

1. Know what you want

This applies to the people who stand in a queue bitching that they have to wait (and I’m talking 2-3 minutes here not the 20 they’d have you believe). Then it’s their turn and they start yelling over the packed pub to their table “Dave what you having?”, “Margaret do you want vodka or gin?”, etc and just when they’ve finally got the order sorted, I’ve made the drinks, and I think it’s over, they decide they want to try something new but don’t know what. This is why we have queues!

2. Say please and thank you

Something I wouldn’t have believed would have to be included (bearing in mind everyone in the place is an actual adult) until I started working in a bar – it’s not that hard people!

3. Never ever whistle, snap your fingers or bang on the bar at me

Unless of course you enjoy waiting while I serve literally everyone else, go to the loo and touch up my lippy, have a smoke break, make a coffee, drink the coffee, file my nails, pop outside to see if anyone wants to come in, collect all the glasses and wash all the tables whether they've been used or not. I really can’t stress this one enough!

4. Order all your drinks at once

It makes it quicker for everyone – you, me and the queue behind you if I do all 3 of your vodka and cokes in one trip rather than one at a time. I do this every day. I can and will remember your 6 drink order.

5. Don’t be arsey if I ask you for ID

Not only is it my job, it’s the law – if you are underage and I serve you alcohol, not only will the pub and I get fined, you will too. Take it as a compliment that you look under 21 (we do challenge 21). I have to say though it does give me a laugh when I ID someone and they make a massive show of eye rolling, moaning and all the other stuff they insist on doing, then show me ID that says there were 18 like 3 days ago.

6. Have some money to hand

I’m not insisting you have the exact change, or have the money ready the second I ask, but have it were it is easy to access. You know like a purse or wallet, in your hadbag or pocket not at the bottom of a locked suitcase. You know you have to pay, be getting it ready while you stand in line moaning about waiting!

7. Don’t argue about the price

I don’t mean if you genuinely think there’s been a mistake. I mean the person who asks, for example, “How much is a pint of Carling?” I say “£2.30” and they then say “I’ll give you £2”. Erm no. No, you won’t. Also when buying a packet of crisps, telling me they are cheaper in Asda doesn’t mean I can magically lower the price just for you, but congratulations on your observation skills!

8. Don’t blame me for your mistake

If you ask for a vodka and coke and you meant vodka and lemonade, don’t make out I’m an idiot that made the wrong drink. Admit that you made a mistake ordering it. I am much more likely to switch it for you based on you being a reasonable person who made a mistake than an arsehole yelling at me.

9. Don’t assume buying me a drink means you’re somehow “in” 

I’m not one of those bartenders that thinks every customer has some sort of obligation to buy me a drink. For those that do, I do appreciate it, but I don’t think I’m somehow entitled to it. If however, you do choose to buy me a drink, I think of it as a thank you and by accepting it, I am accepting your thanks, not agreeing to go on a date with you/sleep with you/push you in the queue/sneak you an extra measure or any of the other things some people seem to think it means.

10. Don’t tell me how to do my job

I don’t care that you ran a chain of pubs for 17 years (read here was a glass washer for a weekend and couldn’t handle it). Unless I am on your payroll, I will be doing it my manager’s way, not your way. And for the record, you are not paying my wages, the owner of the pub is. If you don’t come in, I will still get paid believe it or not!

Can you think of any others that should be added? Or how about what bartenders do that drives customers up the wall?

Follow me on Twitter @randommusings29 and feel free to comment :)

Rules link: http://myrandommusings.blogspot.co.uk/2015/04/a-z-challenge-whos-with-me.html

A is for Awesome link: http://www.myrandommusings.blogsppot.co.uk/2015/04/a-is-for-awesome.html