Saturday, 11 April 2015

Judging People: Is It Ok?

I think, to an extent we all judge people sometimes. Does that make it right? No. But we're all human and it happens.
If you don't know a person's back story, you have no idea why they are acting the way they are. Its a cliché but its true that you shouldn't judge someone unless you've walked a mile in their shoes. Its easier said than done though.
Some people say if you put yourself out there, you know you will be judged. I think this is true to an extent, but it still doesn't really make it ok in a lot of circumstances. I think there are exceptions.
For example, if you apply for a job, you send in your cv, you are being judged on two sheets of A4 paper. In theory, you are only being judged for your suitability for the role, in reality, the recruitment team are probably getting a feel for the type of person they think you might be and whether or not they believe you will be a good fit.
Is this right? Perhaps not, but that's just the way it works. At least this kind of judgement is an honest kind - you submit a cv, you know its going to happen.
People reading this blog have probably judged by now whether they think they would like me or not. I'm ok with that, its another situation I think is an honest kind of judgement. I know by putting my opinions out there it will happen, and I've decided to do it anyway.
I think judging people becomes an issue when you can't even walk down a street to the corner shop without people judging you. Whatever you are, someone decides to turn it to a negative. You are either too fat or too thin, if you wear too much make up, you're a tart, if you don't wear any make up you're a slob etc. Or when people are judged for lifestyle choices that don't affect anyone else. You seem to be deemed a bad person if drink/smoke/sleep around etc etc.
At the end of they day, why is that anyone's business? People make their own choices, and if they aren't hurting anyone else, why judge them in a negative light?
I'm not saying everyone has to agree, or be best friends, just stay out of it.
I think if a lot of these negative people put the time and energy they use putting others down into something positive, they may find they are a whole lot happier.
I'm not saying I'm perfect by any means or saying I've never judged another person. In general, I try not to, but I'd be lying if I said I haven't. Just because I've done it, doesn't mean I think its ok.
In a way though, its a vicious circle, because by saying this, it sort of means I'm judging people who judge people!

Do you judge people? Do you sometimes feel like you are being judged?

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  1. I agree with you 100%. I just wrote a blog about a similar thing. We humans have the capacity to judge and because we all have different opinions on different matters that is ok, to an extent, but when it gets into "you're a bad person" territory, I think it's wrong. We do not have a right to put others down for their life choices. Judging can be a grey area. We judge to see which people are right for us to date and be friends with. That's a different kind of judgement though. We judge on that basis to find people who might fit into our own lives and have similar beliefs and such. To call someone a bad person though because they don't live their lives the way we do, is just plain wrong and I stand firmly by that statement. I have had to push many people out of my life in the past few years because of these judgements. I call them "toxic people" that only add negativity to my life, not positivity. thanks for sharing with #effitfriday

    1. Yes, it's different to think "I don't think I could be friends with that person because we're so different" than "that person's a bad person because they are so different"! I totally agree - judgemental people do add a lot of negativity to the lives of people around them!

    2. Exactly! You hit the nail on the head.

  2. Ha loved the bit about judging people who judge people!! That's just isn't it? I'd love to say I don't but...yes I do judge people and then try to teach my kids not to! Thanks for linking to #effitfriday

    1. Realistically, I think we all do it but it is something I try not to do. Thanks for hosting :)