Wednesday, 1 April 2015

Feminism: Not For Me 1st April 2015

I could never be a feminist. Don't get me wrong, I believe in equal rights, but I always feel like feminism tries to take it further than that. The feminists always seem to want to go one better - they don't want equality, they want superiority.
Some of them (not all - some are level headed, reasonable women) seem to make the issue worse. They get up on their soap boxes and bang on about how life isn't fair, they don't get this opportunity or that opportunity, they have periods, no one takes them seriously etc etc and I can't help but think they sound like whiny spoilt brats. And I'm saying that as a woman so I can appreciate how men don't take their issues too seriously.
On one hand, they are right to an extent, life isn't always fair, but you just suck it up and get on with it. Challenge it with specific examples, and offer solutions, don't just make general statements to be seen to be on board. I'm sure there's times when men feel like life isn't fair, but if they dare speak up, the feminists shut them down because of course their issues are always worse/more serious.
For example, if a woman is upset or angry and a man asks if she's on her period, yes its annoying, maybe even degrading but by over reacting instead of just saying no you are kind of proving his point about women being a little hysterical.
Sometimes, men can't win. If they hold a door open for a woman, they are chauvinistic pigs. If they slam it in her face, they are ignorant. The man holding the door is equally likely to have held it if another man was behind him. Is it so hard to just say thank you, the same way you would if a woman held a door for you?
I don't really buy into all this sisterhood stuff either. A woman is as likely to stab you in the back as a man is. Plus, I could never be a full on feminist and stop shaving my legs and armpits, or stop wearing make up. I don't see what that achieves. If you are fully on board with the sisterhood stuff, shouldn't you support a woman's decision to embrace her femininity as equally as you would support someone who rejects social norms? Isn't that kind of the point? To choose, not be dictated to. I think its just as bad to be put down for your lifestyle choices by a woman as it is to be criticised by a man.
Ultimately, I agree that woman should be treated equally, but a misogynist is always going to be a misogynist. It doesn't matter what you say, what evidence you give, you won't change his mind. Why would you even want to waste your time trying to? Cut him from your life the same as you would any negative person and move on. Equally there are man haters out there, and you won't change their minds either, but men seem better at just shrugging their shoulders and moving on. I just feel like the time and energy invested in trying to change people's opinions could be put to better use .
Perhaps I've missed the point, or perhaps the point has become diluted as the movement grows and everyone has their own agendas.
Follow me on Twitter @randommusings29 and feel free to comment :)

Mami 2 Five


  1. I agree with many of the points you make. I think lots of women want to 'have their cake and eat it'. It's no wonder men get confused. And as for the 'sisterhood' - I never found it existed in the workplace!

    1. Exactly! We can't be "warriors for independence" one minute and fluttering our eyelashes to get things done for us the next!
      I've never found the sisterhood to exist anywhere to be honest - I think are worse than men for putting each other down!

  2. I think a lot depends on where you're from and what kind of feminist you're talking about (there are several kinds here), but I totally see your points. I'm in the Southern US-here, men are taught to hold doors open for women, pull out chairs for dates, some are taught not to swear in front of us etc. There's nothing "condescending" about this-it's just normal gentlemanly behavior. I think it's ridiculous for some women to fault men for just being nice.

    And while I've seen "sisterhood" in some places, I definitely agree that girls can be backstabby at times. There used to be a saying that boys in school get picked on by their enemies while girls get picked on by their friends. As someone who's been excluded and gossiped about by people I thought were friends, I've been there. Bullying by girls is, in some ways, worse than by boys because at least when you're being beaten up you know where you stand.

    Your post has inspired me to write one of my own. Would it be okay if I linked to/quoted yours, to give credit where credit is due?

    1. To me things like holding open a door aren't sexist they're polite. The man holding the door knows we are perfectly capable of opening the door but it's nice to be nice! That saying is very true, and I agree the bitchiness is much worse than having a fight and moving on!
      I'm glad this post inspired you and yes feel free to link/quote :)
      Thank you for commenting :)