Spreading Rumours And Lies: A Rant!

What I see when people spread rumours!

As a barmaid, it seems my life is open for discussion and judgement by every customer who walks through the door. Apparently, working in this industry means my life is fair game, and the bits they don't know (which is most bits) they just make up and spread around.
This should annoy me, but as I started writing the post, I realised it doesn't! I find it hilarious - some of the weird and wonderful things that get back to me are beyond belief, and no one with half a brain would believe it.
It also kind of amuses me that the customers have nothing better to talk about than me and my imaginary life - any publicity is good publicity right?! It reminds me of the Shakespeare quote I vaguely remember about how we are all actors on a stage - he forgot to mention that the audience like to get themselves involved!
I'm pretty thick skinned and I just laugh about it - I don't bother even denying the rubbish anymore - people will believe what they want to believe, and that's fine. I have better things to do than debate my own life with someone - you know like go out and have a threesome or two if you believe the rumours ;) (the boring truth is more like sit online and write a blog post or two!).
Where it does annoy me though is when they talk about the other barmaids who take it personally and get upset. The regular customers know who will be upset by their rumours and yet it doesn't stop them spreading them!
Who the hell do they think they are to make crap up about people to the point they don't want to come into work and face another day of comments and looks!
Perhaps the people making rumours up should go out and get themselves a life instead of putting their noses into other people's!

Have you ever had rumours about yourself get back to you? Does it bother you? Let me know in the comments :)

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You can find me here: Twitter Bloglovin Pinterest and Instagram Please do stop by and say hi!

Sex, Lies And Gold Diggers

I was having a poke about on the internet the other day and I came across an article (I think it was on Buzzfeed, but I could well be wrong!) about lies men tell women to get them to sleep with them earlier than the would normally feel comfortable with.
A few of them rang true, and sounds like something you could perhaps fall for after a drink or 2 too many - come on we've all been there! For example, how he never normally does this, but your special etc etc. Basically enough of an ego boost to make you think why not. Then of course, you never hear from him again because if you really were special he would wait. In this situation, I do feel a bit sorry for the girl. She wanted to believe him, and made a mistake.
But the one that got me was the one were men supposedly exaggerate their job and/or income. Firstly, I can't believe any man would even think that could work.
Secondly, and perhaps most importantly, I can't help feeling that if thinking he earns more money makes a girl sleep with him, she sort of deserve to be burned. How shallow do you have to be for this to actually work? Can you blame the man for walking away? Maybe he even genuinely liked her until he found out she was a gold digger.
When I use the term gold digger, I don't mean a girl that wants a man with an actual job, so they can, at some point down the line, split bills etc, go on a nice holiday or two and live comfortably. I'm talking about the girl that wouldn't give this man the time of day until she discovered his 6 figure salary and now suddenly, she's in love with him.
Is it any worse him using her for sex based on the lie he has money than her using him for money based on the lie she actually finds him attractive? I don't think it is. What does anyone else think?


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Lying: Drawing Your Lines 10th April 2015

Lying. We all do it.
There's so many different types of lies: giant whoppers of lies, little white lies, lies by omission, exaggeration, purposely misunderstanding.
And then there's all the reasons we lie: lying to yourself, lying to make someone feel better, lying to make yourself look better, lying to avoid confrontation. Where does it end? Answer: it doesn't.
I think each person has to draw a line they feel comfortable with.
I like to think I'm pretty honest, but there are some situations were I end up lying. That's life.
For example, my Grandmother would be mortified if she knew I smoked. She's in her 90s and to be honest, she doesn't need the stress of worrying about me, so I think telling her I don't smoke is a harmless lie. It avoids confrontation and saves her worrying. Some people will probably disagree.
I try to give my honest opinion if someone asks me a question, but I try to tone it down to avoid hurting someone's feelings, and I really don't think that's a bad thing. For instance, if I'm shopping with a friend and she tries a dress on and it doesn't suit her, I will tell her that. If she's already bought the dress and asks my opinion, I will say something like "I prefer the red one". If we are already out I'll say its fine. Why upset someone for no reason, its only my opinion at the end of the day.
I think we've all said something along the lines of being stuck in traffic if we're late for work, rather than saying we just wanted an extra 10 minutes in bed. Whatever you say, you're still late, why get a lecture as well? I think this is harmless if it's a one off.
What I can't stand is the pointless lie. Someone saying they speak fluent French for example, when they only know the word bonjour in reality. Yes it's harmless, but what's the point? It just bugs me.
I think, generally speaking, a little white lie is ok, as long as you're not doing it too often, and more importantly, as long as you're not telling lies to the people who are important to you.
When someone lies to me, if its a random acquaintance, I don't really care. It hurts a lot more if its someone who you care about. I tend to go along with the lie (which I suppose is a form of lying in itself), but it stays with me, and makes it harder to trust that person.
Generally speaking, I would prefer people to just be honest with me, even if it hurts, but at the same time, if someone tells a little lie to save my feelings, I can also appreciate that in their own way, that means they care.
Where lying gets dangerous, is when you tell multiple lies. You have to remember what version you told which person, and stick to them. Its just a lot of hard work, and the truth is bound to come out eventually.
I've read lots of articles on the body language of lying, supposedly written to help you spot a liar. This can be a double edged sword though. Maybe the person isn't lying, but is nervous about you're response, so shows similar body language. Also, those articles can be used by liars to manipulate their body language so it doesn't appear they are lying.
In general, my limits are; I won't lie to people I care about, I don't tell pointless lies to try and make myself look better and most importantly, but also hardest I think, is I don't lie to myself.

Where do you draw the line?

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