I think it is a personal choice, and you should do (or not do) whatever feels right for you.
I think the main advantages to waiting are:
1. Assuming you both believe in waiting, there is very little risk of STDs (I say very little as obviously, there is still a small chance one of you could have HIV).
2. There is no chance of having a baby outside of marriage if you are religious and this is important to you.
3. I think knowing this is something you have only ever done with each other would make sex more special somehow (although that could just be romanticising the idea!).
I think the main disadvantages are:
1. What if you never get married!
2. What if you find you aren't sexually compatible. Marriage is a much bigger commitment than buying a car, and you certainly wouldn't buy a car with taking it on a test run right!
3. I think your wedding day is already a big amount of pressure. If you add to that loosing your virginity, its enough to send you over the edge!
4. It would be such an anti-climax. Your first time isn't fun (or at least I don't know anyone who says it was for them). It's not a movie. The first time is awkward, fumbley and something you just want to forget for the most part. That's not what I would want my wedding night to be like. I think you need to practice on a few Mr Wrongs before hand, so when you do find Mr Right, sex is good!
5. By far the most important one for me, is that I honestly think by waiting until you are married, you are so much more likely to rush into marriage.
I realise the disadvantage list is longer than the advantage list, but if this list was written by someone who had chosen to hold off, they would probably have a lot more advantages that I haven't thought of.
Actually though, none of the points on my disadvantage list are why I chose not to wait.
So why did I choose not to wait?
I don't see myself ever getting married. It's not that I don't believe in marriage. I do. If money was no object, I think it is something I would want to do. Until that time though, I just feel that with weddings being so expensive, there are lots of better things I could do with that amount of money. I don't need a piece of paper to tell me I love someone. I guess that could change though if I met "the one". So if I waited until after marriage, there's a fair chance I'd be waiting my entire life.
The strange thing is, when I came up with the idea of writing this post, I stopped to think about why I hadn't waited. Some of the points on the disadvantage list made cameos, but the main reason was the one stated above that I can't see me ever getting married.
As I was writing this post it occurred to me that they are all reasons I have thought up after the event due only to this post.
When I really think back, the true answer to why I didn't wait is that it didn't even enter my head that it was an option.
As an atheist, I had no religious reason to wait, and it would never have occurred to me that people wait for non-religious reasons.
So I guess the true answer to why I chose not to wait is that I didn't consider it as an option. If I had, I still don't think I would have waited though, and that is for the reasons stated above.
Did you wait/not wait? Why? Let me know in the comments :)
