The Dangers Of Online Bullying

Remember when we were kids at school?

There was always that worry that you would say or do something stupid and end up being bullied. Or that someone just took a dislike to you because you were a bit different and again, you ended up bullied.

Now imagine living as a teenager in today's world, and that fear is multiplied times a thousand. Where it's not just at school, but online as well. You could literally be a target of bullies 24/7.

You don't even have to be online at the time, there is always the chance that someone leaves you a comment or message.

I really think it is hard to win as a teenager. There are all the usual things - you are too fat, too thin, not pretty enough, too pretty, too quiet, too loud, too studious - the list goes on.

Now there is also that you're not on the latest social network, you don't have enough followers or friends, someone starts because you didn't follow them back. Again, the possibilities are endless.

But it doesn't stop at one comment. It becomes a constant written assault. Sure you can block them, but they will just set up a new profile.

You could leave the network, but why the hell should you have to? Plus then the bully thinks they've won and they will be even more obnoxious.

The people who hide behind keyboards to bully someone are cowards. Simple as that.

The trouble is, these kids are usually the ones people seem to flock to in case they become the next victim. Also, they only need to make one insult a bit funny and every kid in school is talking about it, and commenting on it, many of them not even thinking they are bullying someone.

Can you imagine how horrible it would be if every time you went on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, your email, or checked your phone there was people making fun of you, and calling you names.

There is no where to go to get away from it and not a lot anyone can do to stop it. Generally, if a parent steps in and comments, the child gets hammered even more. Schools are pretty much powerless to deal with it.

Of course, parents need to step up here. I am not talking about the parents of the victim here.

I have read so many posts about how to monitor kids social media to make sure they aren't the victim of bullying. Of course this is a good thing, and can maybe help stop it, but ultimately, it is the parents of the bullies who need to take action.

No one wants to think their child is a bully, but the fact is, some kids are bullies and those kids have parents (or primary care givers, I use the term parents for simplicity sake, but please understand I mean whoever has a legal responsibility for that child).

Next time you are checking your child's social media for signs they are being bullied or just a general check, check their comments to others too. See what sort of message they are putting out there.

If your child is bullying someone, take responsibility and take action.

Take their computers and phones away if necessary.

Work with the school and the parents of their victims to get it stopped.

Find out the reason they do it (often it is through low self esteem) and try to help them deal with the underlying problem.

It could be that they have jumped on a bandwagon and don't even realise they are victimizing someone.

Not only are you saving your child from being an obnoxious child that no one likes (fear of someone is very different to liking them, even if they have a large social group, how many people really like bullies deep down?), you are saving them from the day they get pick on the wrong person and get a smack in the mouth.

There is a very real danger that the constant torment can lead to victims of bullying becoming withdrawn and depressed and even becoming suicidal.

As the parent of a bully, you don't want that on your conscience or your child's conscience, so if you think your child is a bully, please step in before it becomes too late!

I found this video on YouTube, I have no idea if the boy in it was really in this situation of if it's acted, but either way, it is harrowing to watch, and shows how one little thing can lead to the whole school jumping on the band wagon.

Has you child ever been bullied/been a bully? How did you deal with it? Let me know what you think in the comments :)

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The Pressures On Today's Young People

As part of my Over To You theme, I was asked the following by @bekb65:

What is your opinion on the amount of pressure on children, young adults and parents in today's society?

 

 

 

 

I hear a lot of people saying how easy kids of this generation have it - being driven to and from school, having more games consoles than they would know what to do with, mobile phones, iPads etc to name but a few. And of course, there's this whole thing about building children's self esteem to the point where everyone's a winner, even when they aren't!

Keeping all that in mind I still think young people today have it hard. Certainly harder than my generation ever did (I'm in my 30s).

I think now more than ever, kids are under a lot of pressure to perform well at school, with the re-introduction of exams for 11 year olds, and children as young as 5 having homework. There is a constant pressure to perform and do well - even if a child's parents aren't pushy, in my experience, a child still doesn't want to let their parents down. They also don't want to fall too far behind their peers, but they also don't want to stand out as too clever and become a target for jealous bullies.

I also think that kids aren't stupid - they know most of the awards handed out just so everyone gets one are made up - they know which ones have any sort of meaning and which don't.

With technology comes more pressure for teenagers. In the past a teenager who was bullied at school left for the day and got at least a few hours reprieve. Now the bullies continue to harass them in their down time on social networks. This is even more humiliating for kids because it's so public, and of course everyone will have an opinion on it adding to the whispers etc when they do go back to school.

Also, there's the added pressure to keep up with the latest trends. When I was a kid this was fairly limited - clothes, trainers etc. Now they have to be seen to have the latest technology too. It's a sad fact that teenagers without the latest all singing all dancing labels and technology are again at risk of being bullied (bear in mind a lot of the time these bullies need no real reason to choose a victim).

This all adds up to a lot of pressure on these kids, which in turn leads to extra pressure for parents. A lot of parents don't feel like their child has to have the latest iPhone (and a lot of parents simply can't afford to buy them, especially if they have more than one child), but at the same time, they don't want their kid to be the only one who doesn't have one and possibly make them a target. This can all lead to tension in the home.

Parents are under so much pressure to make sure their child has everything they need both physically and emotionally and all these extra demands just add to it.

And all of that is without factoring in the things every generation faces - hormones, puberty, boy/girlfriends, underage sex, pregnancy, stds, peer pressure, drugs, drinking, sexuality, and finding who they really are.

I for one, wouldn't want to swap a ride to school for all those added pressures young people today face!

 

What do you think?

 

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