Gender Roles In Relationships

Women fought for years to have equal rights. The right to vote, the right to work for a fair salary and the right to work in a male dominated environment.

Along with that, women fought to no longer be the "good little housewife". Women no longer wanted to be the fairer sex, the weaker sex, the homemaker. They wanted to be doctors, lawyers, fighter pilots.

They wanted equality in relationships, to have an equal voice. To be respected rather than protected. To be taken seriously rather than patronised. To be able to be more than just a wife, to have their own identity.

In short, women fought for the right to choose. And, for the most part, we got it!

As a modern, independent woman who believes in equality (I struggle to use the term feminist), I sometimes feel like it can be a double edged sword.

Now, it appears that women somehow think they are "letting the side down" if they choose not to work. Surely the whole point in fighting for equality was to give us the right to choose.

If a woman chooses to be a stay at home mother, or a house wife, is she really letting the side down? Personally, I don't think so. I think choosing this path is, in itself, holding the side up as much as choosing to be a career woman.

That housewife who is frowned upon for letting down her gender, and told women fought for her right to be more than a housewife, is actually a woman comfortable to make the choice to live life her own way. To say this is what I want and I'm dam well going to do to it! I say good on her.

I sometimes think it would be nice to have days where you don't have to be strong, and fighting for the cause. Some days, it would be nice if your biggest worry was whether or not your husband's tea was on the table on time. It would be nice sometimes, to be able to let someone else do the worrying about finances etc, to be kept in the dark and told everything would be ok. And to be able to believe it, and let your partner deal with it without feeling like a failure as a woman.

Obviously, some of that last paragraph was a little tongue in cheek, but I do think that having traditional gender roles in a relationship can work, as can the opposite, and everything in between. I think it is down to the two people in the relationship to adopt the roles that feel right for them. If that means the woman has a career, while her husband stays at home, then great. If it's the other way round, also great. Or you might both choose to work.

I don't honestly know which role I would want. Some days, I feel like it would be nice to let someone else do all the worrying and budgeting, other days I would be perfectly happy to be the one doing it. Either way, it's good to know that whatever I chose to do I actually wouldn't be letting the side down. I would be saying I have made a choice and this is it!

What do you think? Do you ever miss more traditional roles in relationships? Do you feel like you are somehow letting the side down if you don't have a high flying career? Let me know in the comments :)

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